The dark night MEmorables Queotes.

Bruce Wayne: I knew the mob wouldn't go down without a fight. But this is different. They crossed the line.
Alfred Pennyworth: You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them. And in their desperation they turned to a man they didn't fully understand.

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Detective Wuertz: Dent! Jesus, I thought you was dead!
Two-Face: Half...

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Harvey Dent: The famous Bruce Wayne. Rachel's told me everything about you.
Bruce Wayne: I certainly hope not.

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Gotham National Bank Manager: The criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in? What do you believe in!
The Joker: I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.

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Mayor: [regarding The Joker] What do we got?
Lt. James Gordon: Nothing. No DNA, no fingerprints. Clothing is custom, no tags or brand labels. Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint. No name, no other alias.

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[stumbles out of wrecked truck]
The Joker: [to Batman] Come on, I want you do it, I want you to do it. Come on, hit me. *Hit me!*

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Happy: So why do they call him "The Joker"?
Dopey: I heard he wears make-up.
Happy: Make-up?
Dopey: Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.

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Harvey Dent: You're Alfred, right?
Alfred Pennyworth: That's right, sir.
Harvey Dent: You've known Rachel her entire life.
Alfred Pennyworth: Not yet, sir.
Harvey Dent: Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?
Alfred Pennyworth: Oh, you have no idea!

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The Joker: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's entertainment! I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?
[nobody responds; The Joker walks around the room pointing with his shotgun at everyone]
The Joker: You know where Harvey is? You know who he is?
[grabs a man's face]
The Joker: You know where I can find Harvey? I need to talk to him about something. Just something, a little.
[turns the man's face away]
The Joker: No...

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Batman: [to The Joker] You wanted me, here I am.

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Bruce Wayne: [to Rachel] You know that day you once told me about, when Gotham would no longer need Batman? It's coming.

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The Joker: [looks directly at Dinner Guest] You know, you remind of my father.
[takes a knife to dinner guest's neck]
The Joker: ... I hated my father!

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The Joker: And I thought my jokes were bad...

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The Joker: And here we go.

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Lt. James Gordon: [to Harvey Dent] Everyone knows you're Gotham's White Knight.

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The Joker: So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did... Do you want to know which of them are cowards?

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Batman: What did you do?
The Joker: I took Gotham's white knight, and lowered him to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little...push.
[laughs]

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The Joker: Do I look like a guy with a plan?

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Bruce Wayne: That man in Burma, did you ever catch him?
Alfred Pennyworth: Oh yes.
Bruce Wayne: How?
Alfred Pennyworth: We burned the forest.

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[last lines]
Lt. James Gordon: Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now...and so we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector...a dark knight.

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The Joker: [to Batman] We really should stop fighting, we'll miss the fireworks!

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The Joker: The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules!

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The Joker: See, I'm not a monster...I'm just ahead of the curve.

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The Joker: See, I'm a man of simple tastes. I like gunpowder...and dynamite...and gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They're cheap!

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[repeated line]
The Joker: Wanna know how I got these scars?

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The Joker: What does not kill you, makes you stranger!

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Lucius Fox: Spying on 30 million people is not part of my job description.

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The Joker: You'll see, I'll show you, that when the chips are down, these uh... civilized people, they'll eat each other.

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The Joker: I want...I want my phone call. I want my phone call.
Detective Stephens: That's nice.
The Joker: How many of your friends have I killed?
Detective Stephens: I'm a twenty year man. I can tell the difference between punks who need a little lesson in manners... and the freaks like you who would just enjoy it.
[pause]
Detective Stephens: And you've killed six of my friends.
The Joker: [faking interest, mouths "six"]

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The Joker: People will die. Starting tonight. I'm a man of my word.

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The Joker: You see, nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying. If I told people that a gangbanger was going to get shot, or a busload of soldiers was going to get blown up, nobody would panic. Because it's all part of the plan. But tell people that one tiny little mayor is going to die and everyone loses their minds!

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The Joker: Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent. Ohh, excuse me, I want to drive!
[gets behind the wheel of a semi truck]

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The Joker: If you're good at something, never do it for free.

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The Joker: You look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got them? Come here. Hey, look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful; like you. Who tells me, I worry too much. Who tells me, I ought to smile more. Who gambles, and gets in deep with sharks. One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries. She can't take it! I just want to see her smile again. I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So I stick a razor in my mouth and do this... to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!
The Joker: [Rachel kicks the Joker away] A little fight in you. I like that.
Batman: Then you're going to love me.

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Alfred Pennyworth: I suppose they'll lock me up as well. As your accomplice...
Bruce Wayne: Accomplice? I'm going to tell them the whole thing was your idea.

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Bruce Wayne: Do you think I should go to the hospital?
Lt. James Gordon: You don't watch the news very much do you?

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Harvey Dent: Tell your son it's going to be okay, Gordon. Lie, like I lied.

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The Joker: [over the PA] Tonight you are all going to be part of a *social experiment*.

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James Gordon Jr.: [in bed] Did Batman save you?
Lt. James Gordon: Actually this time I saved him.

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[while trying to disable the silent alarm for the Bank]
Dopey: That's funny, it didn't dial out to 911. It was trying to reach a private number.
Happy: Is there a problem?
Dopey: No, I'm done here.
[Happy shoots Dopey in the back]

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[while trying to break into the bank vault]
Happy: They wired this thing up to about 5,000 Volts. What kind of bank does that?
Grumpy: A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy?
Happy: Boss told me when the guy was done I should take him out. One less share, right?
[Happy opens the vault.]
Grumpy: Funny. He told me something similar.
Happy: He, huh? No! *No!*
[Grumpy shoots Happy in the back.]

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Batman: Sometimes, truth isn't good enough, sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.

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Alfred Pennyworth: [looks at the large gash on Bruce's arm] Were you mauled by a tiger?
Bruce Wayne: It was a dog...
Alfred Pennyworth: Huh?
Bruce Wayne: It was a big dog!
[pause]
Bruce Wayne: More copycats today, Alfred, with guns.
Alfred Pennyworth: Why don't you hire them and take the weekend off?

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Lt. James Gordon: We'll have to hunt you.
Batman: You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me, you'll set the dogs on me. But that's what has to happen.

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[the Batpod charges]
The Joker: Ooohhh. You want to play. Come on!

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Two-Face: The Joker's just a mad dog. I want whoever let him off the leash.

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Rachel Dawes: [to Batman after falling out of a window] Let's not do that again.

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The Joker: You just couldn't let me go, could you?

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Bruce Wayne: What about getting back into the plane?
Lucius Fox: I would recommend you find a good travel agent.
Bruce Wayne: Without it landing.
Lucius Fox: [smiles] Now that's more like it, Mr. Wayne.

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Alfred Pennyworth: Know your limits, Master Wayne.
Bruce Wayne: Batman has no limits.
Alfred Pennyworth: But you do, sir.
Bruce Wayne: Well, can't afford to know them.

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[The Joker holds Rachel Dawes out of a window]
Batman: Let her go.
The Joker: Ooh... Very poor choice of words!
[The Joker lets her drop and laughs maniacally]

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[bumps along while driving hijacked truck]
The Joker: I like this job - I like it!

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The Joker: You have nothing to threaten me with. Nothing to do with all your strength.

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The Joker: You just couldn't let me go could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you, because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Batman: You'll be in a padded cell forever.
The Joker: Maybe we can share one. Then we'll be doubling up the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds.

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Bruce Wayne: I need a new suit.
Lucius Fox: Yes, three buttons is a little '90's, Mr. Wayne.
Lucius Fox: I'm not talking fashion, so much as function.
[hands him a diagram]
Lucius Fox: You want to be able to turn your head.
Bruce Wayne: Sure would make backing out of the driveway easier.

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Batman: You don't want to hurt the boy, Harvey.
Two-Face: It's not about what I want, it's about what's fair!

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Bruce Wayne: [after walking into his restaurant] Why don't we put some tables together?
Harvey Dent: I don't think they'll let us.
Bruce Wayne: They should…I own the place.

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Bruce Wayne: [defending Gotham] I grew up here, I turned out OK.

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Judge Surrillo: [after witness attempts to kill Dent] Take the witness away.
Harvey Dent: Your Honor, I'm not finished.

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Harvey Dent: You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

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Salvatore Maroni: [Batman holds him out over a ledge] If you're trying to intimidate someone, you should pick a better spot. From here, the fall wouldn't kill me.
Batman: I'm counting on it.
[he drops Maroni off the ledge, breaking his legs]

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The Joker: [to Batman] You didn't think I'd risk losing the battle for Gotham's soul in a fistfight with you, did you?

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Harvey Dent: The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.

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Alfred Pennyworth: When I was in Burma, a long time ago, my friends and I were working for the local Government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders, bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. We were asked to take care of the problem, so we started looking for the stones. But after six months, we couldn't find anyone who had traded with him. One day I found a child playing with a ruby as big as a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing the stones away.
Bruce Wayne: Then why steal them?
Alfred Pennyworth: Because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

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The Joker: [to the mob] I know what you're afraid of. I know why you choose to have your little "group therapy sessions" in broad daylight.
[pause]
The Joker: The Batman.

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Gamble: [to The Joker] Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here rip your head off.
The Joker: How about a magic trick?
[pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table]
The Joker: I'm gonna make this pencil... disappear.
[Gamble's thug walks over to kill The Joker, who pushes his face into the pencil and kills him]
The Joker: Ta-daa! It's... magical.

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The Joker: Speaking of funny, do you know how I got these scars?
Batman: No! But I know how you got these!

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Lucius Fox: Let me get this straight. You think that your employer, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is spending his nights running around the city beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck.

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[Batman has just fought off Scarecrow and a group of Batman wannabes]
Batman: Don't let me find you out here again.
Brian: We're trying to help you!
Batman: I don't need help.
Dr. Jonathan Crane: Not my diagnosis!
Brian: What gives you the right? What's the difference between you and me?
[Batman lowers himself into the Batmobile]
Batman: I'm not wearing hockey pads!

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Harvey Dent: [after taking a malfunctioning gun from an assassin] Carbon fiber. .28 Caliber, made in China. If you want to kill a public servant Mr. Maroni, I suggest you buy American.

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Maroni's Mistress: It's too loud in here, we can't hear each other talk.
Salvatore Maroni: What makes you think I want to hear you talk?

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Gamble: You're crazy.
The Joker: No, I'm not. No...I'm *not.*

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The Joker: [speaking to Two-Face] Do I really look like a man with a plan, Harvey? I don't have a plan. The mob has plans, the cops have plans. You know what I am, Harvey? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do if I caught one. I just *do* things. I'm a wrench in the gears. I *hate* plans. Yours, theirs, everyone's. Maroni has plans. Gordon has plans. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I am not a schemer. I show schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say that what happened to you and your girlfriend wasn't personal, you know I'm telling the truth.
[hands Two-Face a gun]
The Joker: It's a schemer who put you where you are. You were a schemer. You had plans. Look where it got you. I just did what I do best-I took your plan and turned it on itself. Look what I have done to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple bullets. Nobody panics when the expected people get killed. Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plans are horrifying. If I tell the press that tomorrow a gangbanger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will get blown up, nobody panics. But when I say one little old mayor will die, everyone loses their minds! Introduce a little anarchy, you upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I am an agent of chaos. And you know the thing about chaos, Harvey? It's fair.
[with the gun in Two-Face's hand, he places the gun to his forehead; Two-Face pauses and takes out his coin]
Two-Face: [showing the unscarred side] You live.
The Joker: Mm-hm.
Two-Face: [flipping, showing the scarred side] You die.
The Joker: Now you're talking!

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The Joker: [holding a knife inside Gamble's mouth] Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was....a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife,"Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth. "Lets put a smile on that face!" And..... Why so serious?

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Batman: Why do you want to kill me?
The Joker: [laughs] Kill you? I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, you... you complete me.

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Bruce Wayne: People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?
Alfred Pennyworth: Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They'll hate you for it. But that's the point of Batman, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice.
Bruce Wayne: Well today I found out what Batman can't do. He can't endure this. Today you finally get to say "I told you so."
Alfred Pennyworth: Today, sir, I don't want to.
[pauses for several moments]
Alfred Pennyworth: But I did bloody tell you.

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The Joker: Evening, Commissioner...
Lt. James Gordon: Harvey Dent never made it home.
The Joker: Of course he didn't.
Lt. James Gordon: What did you do with him?
The Joker: Me?! I was right here!
[shows Gordon his handcuffs]
The Joker: Who did *you* leave him with?

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[Gambol makes a threat; Joker opens his coat to reveal setup of grenades on a string, which he starts to tug.]
The Joker: Now, let's not *blow* things out of proportion here...You know what? You let me know when you start taking things a bit more seriously.
[takes out Joker card and sets it on the table]
The Joker: Here's my *card*.

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Gamble: You think you can just come in here and steal from us?
The Joker: Yeah.

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Lt. James Gordon: That was a very brave thing you did, Wayne.
Bruce Wayne: What, trying to catch the light?
Lt. James Gordon: You mean you weren't protecting the van?
Bruce Wayne: [completely oblivious] Why? Who's in it?

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The Joker: Let's turn the clocks back. A year ago, these cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you. I mean, what happened? Did your - did your balls drop off? Hmm?

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Reese: They're trying to kill me!
Lt. James Gordon: Well, maybe Batman will save you.

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Salvatore Maroni: If I tell you, will you let me live?
Two-Face: Can't hurt your chances.
Salvatore Maroni: Ramirez.
[sees Two-Face aim his gun]
Salvatore Maroni: Wait! You said you'd let me live!
Two-Face: I said it can't hurt your chances.
[flips coin; good head]
Two-Face: You're a lucky man.
[flips again; bad head]
Two-Face: He's not.
Salvatore Maroni: Who?
Two-Face: Your driver.
[buckles seat belt and shoots the driver in the back; the car goes flying off the road.]

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The Chechen: [after bringing out a man under the influence of fear toxin] Look at what your drugs did to my customers.
Scarecrow: Buyer beware. I told you my compound would take you places. I never said they'd be places you wanted to go.
The Chechen: My business...repeat customers...
Scarecrow: If you don't like what I have to offer, you can buy from someone else. Assuming Batman left anyone to buy from.

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The Joker: [to Gambol's thugs] Now, our operation is small but there is a lot of potential for 'aggressive' expansion. So which one of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, there's only one spot open right now so we're gonna have...
[breaks pool cue over knee]
The Joker: tryouts.
[throws broken pool cue at the thugs]
The Joker: Make it fast.

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Two-Face: You thought we could be decent men in an indecent world. But you were wrong; the world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.
[holds up his coin]
Two-Face: Unbiased.
[looks at Gordon]
Two-Face: Unprejudiced. Fair.

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Lt. James Gordon: It was my fault Harvey! I'm sorry!

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Lucius Fox: It uses sonar to give you a real-time image of the surroundings.
Bruce Wayne: Using sonar to see? Just like a...
[begins to say “Bat” then pauses]
Lucius Fox: Like a submarine Mr. Wayne, like a submarine.

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Batman: [interrogating Maroni on whereabouts of The Joker] He must have friends!
Salvatore Maroni: [incredulous] Friends? Have you met this guy?

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The Joker: [Batman slams The Joker’s head on a table] Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy.

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The Joker: Those mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth: there's no going back. You've changed things ... forever.

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Batman: Where is Dent?
The Joker: You have all these rules and you think they'll save you.
Lt. James Gordon: [Batman slams the Joker against a wall] He's in control.
Batman: I have one rule.
The Joker: Then that's the rule you'll have to break to know the truth.
Batman: Which is?
The Joker: The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules. And tonight you're gonna break your one rule.
Batman: I'm considering it.
The Joker: No, there's only minutes left, so you're gonna have to play my little game if you want to save one of them.

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Commissioner Gillian B. Loeb: [regarding the Joker's threat on his life] Gordon, in my time in office, I have received numerous threats from terrorists. I found the rational solution to these situations a long time ago.
[pulls out a bottle of whiskey and a glass]

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Lt. James Gordon: [to the Joker] Got you, you son of a bitch!

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Bruce Wayne: Criminals aren't complicated Alfred. We just need to figure out what he's after.

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The Joker: I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring. I've had a change of heart. I don't want Mr.Reese spoiling everything, but why should I have all the fun? Let's give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn't dead in sixty minutes then I blow up a hospital.

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Harvey Dent: Well, I guess no answer is a no.
Rachel Dawes: Harvey...
Harvey Dent: It's someone else, isn't it?
Rachel Dawes: Harvey...
Harvey Dent: Just tell me it's not Wayne, the guy's a complete…
[Bruce comes up behind him and grabs him in a chokehold]
Rachel Dawes: What are you doing?

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The Joker: This town deserves a better class of criminal... and I'm gonna give it to them. Tell your men they work for me now. This is *my* city.
The Chechen: They won't work for a freak...
The Joker: [mocking his accent] A freak...
[pulls out his switchblade and tosses it to some goons who grabs the Chechen]
The Joker: Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hmm? Then we'll see, how loyal, a hungry dog really is. It's not about the money... it's about... sending a message. Everything burns.

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The Joker: Are you the real Batman?
Brian: No.
The Joker: No? Then why do you dress like him?
Brian: He's a symbol... that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you.
The Joker: Oh, you do Brian, you *really* do!

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Grumpy: I'm bettin' The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.
The Joker: No, no. I kill the bus driver.
Grumpy: Bus driver? What bus driver?
[a school bus drives through the wall and kills Grumpy]

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Lt. James Gordon: Harvey Dent never made it home.
The Joker: Of course not.
Lt. James Gordon: What have you done with him?
The Joker: Me? I've been here.
[holds up his arms in handcuffs]
The Joker: Who did you leave him with? Your people? That's assuming they are still your people, and not Maroni's people. Does it bother you? To know just how alone you really are? Does it make you feel responsible for Dent's current predicament?
Lt. James Gordon: Where is he?
The Joker: What's the time?
Lt. James Gordon: What does the time matter?
The Joker: Well, because depending on the time, he may in one spot or several.
Lt. James Gordon: If we're gonna play games...
[takes off Joker's handcuffs]
Lt. James Gordon: I'm gonna need a cup of coffee.
The Joker: Ah, the old good cop, bad cop routine, huh?
Lt. James Gordon: Not exactly